CONDENSED VERSION: in Niland, California, take Main St / Beal St to the end, go left on Coachella Canal Rd, then take your first left onto Sidewinder Rd. East Jesus is located at 23 Sidewinder, on your left. Be careful not to drive into the parallel wash.
THE FULL MONTY: First get to Niland, CA. You can figure that part out yourself.
From the north: the scenic route only takes about an hour more than the "quick" way, which is through Hell-A [ugh] and San Bernardino [retch.] If you're into hundreds of miles of hideous urban sprawl and rude, over-tweeked drivers, be my guest. Otherwise, come down I-5 and go east on 58 through Bakersfield, Tehachapi and Mojave to Barstow, then head south on 247 through Lucerne Valley to Yucca Valley. If you have a National Parks pass (which you should), or are willing to pay ten bucks for two hours of breathtaking, extraterrestiral scenery, hang a left and drive through Joshua Tree National Park, then keep going straight on the same road through the box canyon that leads to Mecca, CA. Otherwise take a right and dig the Palm Springs / Coachella scene via 62. The wind farm you'll pass is spectacular, but that's about the only consolation. [NOTE: after years of hating Bakersfield for no particular reason, I have finally come to my senses. It's a really nice little city, full of friendly people, and the gas is cheap there. So what if a few of them are hung up on meth?]
In Niland, go east on Main St. If you're coming from the north, that means you will take a left; if you're coming from the south, you'll be taking a right. If you're confused, don't worry: Main St. only extends in one direction from the highway.
Main Street, Niland, CA (view from the south on Rt 111)
Main Street, Niland, CA (view from the north on Rt 111)
If you are so inclined, take a moment to read the historical E Clampus Vitus plaque near the intersection of 111 and Main St.
You will cross two sets of railroad tracks, after which Main St. changes its name to Beal Rd. This does not affect you - you cheerfully continue past the power station and after a while come to a lonesome -now heavily graffiti'd- guard shack that marks the far outpost of Slab City. If you are in desperate need of hygienic ablution, stop here and grab your bad self a nice hobo shower (about 30 ft to the right of the guard shack.)
Keep going. As you come around the bend, Salvation Mountain will come into view on your right. East Jesus is not affiliated with Salvation Mountain, but we like it a lot.
Keep following Main St (aka Beal Rd) all the way through Slab City until it ends at a somewhat difficult to see T-intersection.
There are no signs or anything, but you will get this weird feeling you have found that mysterious place where the road ends. Also, if you keep going straight you will either get stuck in sand or drive into the Coachella canal, where you will die. I don't recommend either.
You turn LEFT at the T and follow the wide, nicely graded and winding dirt road for a few hundred yards. There will be some camps, both occupied and abandoned (though it's not necessarily obvious which is which) on both sides. Soon you will see a little black sign reading "SIDEWINDER RD."
The road is good but go slow and watch for holes (rains can do immediate damage.) Keep going about 1/5 mile. East Jesus will be hidden from view until you're right there. The 27' reefer with the Seatrain logo (plus the famous reflective EAST JESUS signpost) marks the compound.
